I began teaching yoga in 1999. I was young, healthy & energetic. I was teaching yoga in the evenings & working in the accounting field in the day. In 2007, I found myself continuously feeling fatigued & could barely get out of bed. It felt as though I was pulling an anchor around. After countless doctors & very few answers, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. It knocked me off my feet & introduced me to depression. I drew on my yoga tools (breathing & restorative postures) to regain some sense of control. In 2013, I attended a four year Clinical Yoga Therapy program at Loyola Marymount University. I was seeking answers for myself and others living with a chronic illness.

It was alarming to me how many people were struggling with chronic issues, which no doubt leads to depression, anxiety and fatigue. The grief, isolation and loss of control you feel managing a chronic disease is completely overwhelming. Welcome to the life of a Spoonie! The spoon theory is a way to describe to others what having a chronic illness feels like. If you aren’t familiar, it’s worth looking up. I am truly grateful for my journey at LMU and for what I have learned about myself throughout this illness. Sometimes we can’t help but feel defined by our illness or pain. After all, it takes over your life and becomes a full time job to remain well. Who wouldn’t feel frustrated or depressed?

Yoga has taught me that I can come back to my true self. I remember that girl so very well. She was full of energy, gust and ambition. Well, I am still that girl. I took all my gust and threw it into my Yoga Therapy work. That’s what I rely on when I feel myself drifting toward feeling defined by an illness. Working with others that are learning to manage their pain, provides me with purpose and reminds me the importance of self care and self awareness. Yes, it changed my yoga practice in a way I never expected. But it opened my eyes to what I truly needed to feel more rested, connected & balanced. I am much happier in the movement, breathing and meditation practice I have now.

I don’t actually miss the handstands and crow poses I tried to perfect in my power vinyasa classes. I now understand how stress affects my mind and body. I recognize when I am burnt out and need to replenish my nervous system. I know when my breath feels shortened or rapid from physical & emotional stressors. When I come onto my yoga mat I am practicing movement and breath work for what I need in that moment. It provides me with strength, flexibility & balance while maintaining ease in my body.

My personal experience with illness and my education from LMU allowed me to develop a Yoga for MS program for the Cleveland Clinic Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health in 2016. I have remained a speaker for the MSAA, which provides an opportunity to reach people on a virtual platform. I currently offer Yoga Therapy for Chronic Pain & Mental Health for behavioral health hospitals throughout the country. We need as many resources as possible to support chronic disease management and it continues to be rewarding to serve as one of those resources.